also talked to the doctor today 

and so i have to basically decide between dying of anxiety 

or being malnourished

if i dont go to the gym everyday then i get really bad panic attacks because i dont work the energy off but i do go to the gym im going to keep losing weight and the doctor said it was really bad but either im going to fuck up my body because if i dont work the anxiety off im going to go in to panic attack mode, thats high blood pressure anorexia like body fat mass (i cant eat when im nervous and i get the shits really bad tbh, like anything i eat i immediately vomit up or shit in like 15 mins, also my acid reflex gets really bad and my teeth start to hurt ) 

some I’m just going to drink alot of ensure and vitamins and protein because i think i can even gain weight because of muscle building but idk the doctor said that he didnt know which was worse and he literally told me i had to get my shit together and my mom got mad at me and i wanted to cry but i  didnt and now i feel like shit and yeah

also i have to return my blackberry because its defective